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Ronnie Barker

Biography

British actor and comedian who starred in Uk TV’s The Frost Statement,BOTH Ronnies, and Porridge. He briefly worked well as a lender clerk before obtaining are a stage supervisor and eventually quitting his job to be an actor, a choice his dad discouraged. He’s a three-time BAFTA Television Award greatest Light Entertainment Overall performance winner. He previously three kids, Larry, Charlotte and Adam, along with his wife of almost 50 years, Pleasure Tubb. He co-starred in it movie, MY HOME in Umbria, with Maggie Smith (2003).

Quick Facts


Full Name Ronnie Barker
Date Of Birth September 25, 1929
Died October 3, 2005, Adderbury, United Kingdom
Place Of Birth Bedford, England
Height 1.72 m
Profession TV Actor
Education City of Oxford High School for Boys
Nationality British
Spouse Joy Tubb
Children Adam Barker, Charlotte Barker, Larry Barker
Parents Leonard Barker, Edith Barker
Siblings Eileen Barker, Vera Barker
Awards British Academy Television Award for Best Entertainment Performance, British Academy Television Special Award, The British Comedy Academy Lifetime Achievement Award
Movies Porridge, Futtocks End, By the Sea, My House in Umbria, Robin and Marian, A Home of Your Own, The Gathering Storm, The Bargee, Runaway Railway, Life Beyond the Box: Norman Stanley Fletcher, Father Came Too!, The Man Outside, The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything, The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins, The Picnic, Two Off the Cuff, A Ghost of a Chance
TV Shows The Two Ronnies, Porridge, Open All Hours, The Frost Report, Going Straight, Seven of One, The Two Ronnies Sketchbook, Clarence, By the Sea, The Magnificent Evans, Hark at Barker, Six Dates with Barker, Britain's Best Sitcom, His Lordship Entertains, Faces of Jim, Frost on Sunday, The Picnic, The Ronnie Barker Playhouse, Before the Fringe, Foreign Affairs
Star Sign Libra

  • Facts
  • Filmography
  • Awards
  • Salaries
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  • Trademarks
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#Fact
1A year before his death he chose not to undergo heart valve replacement surgery and his health rapidly declined.
2He was a heavy smoker until 1972, when he gave up after having a pre-cancerous growth removed from his throat.
3He underwent heart bypass surgery in 1996 and suffered a pulmonary embolism in 1997.
4A memorial service was held for him at Westminster Abbey on 3 March 2006.
5Thought about retiring at age 56 after the deaths of Eric Morecambe and Tommy Cooper and working himself into an early grave was playing on his mind. He decided to retire on New Years Day, 1988 at the age of 59. David Jason was disappointed but respected his decision.
6Considered a legend in the British TV business.
7Once while David Jason was a guest in Barker's house, Jason got slightly drunk and couldn't sleep; he saw a door and assuming it led to a flat roof, decided to get some fresh air to help him sleep even though he couldn't see a thing beyond the door. Jason reconsidered after worrying about cutting his feet on any stones. The next morning Jason found the door led to nowhere but a 30ft drop to a disused mill wheel; Barker had a balcony built to prevent any more near tragedies.
8Attended David Jason's 50th birthday party; he parked his car in a neighboring drive so as not to spoil the surprise. He delivered a speech at the party. Jason said it was a lovely, high-spirited evening and the nicest of surprises, but he wasn't surprised though, because all the lights were off when he arrived - something his wife never did.
9He was particularly devastated by Richard Beckinsale's death. He was so upset he couldn't work for several days.
10When David Jason was knighted in 2005, he wished Barker had been there to share it with everyone. Jason felt Barker was more deserving of a knighthood, but had died two months previously. But earlier in the year, when Jason's knighthood was announced, he sent him one of his poems to commemorate the event, and at Jason's after party he declaimed it, so Barker was there in word.
11A great collector from antique and junk shops. He liked collecting things to have them around, but was never interested in anything valuable, just what appealed to him. He collected little porcelain statuettes of 1920s bathing belles; toy soldiers, boxes of cigarette cards, some unopened; thousands of postcards; albums of the seaside from the turn of the century and one with postcards made of silk, etc. His home was considered a house of wonders, and the walls were covered with wonderful pictures, of all shapes, sizes and styles. David Jason described his house as a treasure trove. He had a driver who took him and Jason looking for bric-a-brac. The tinier and the more offbeat the shop was, and the further it was into the middle of nowhere, the happier he was.
12David Jason wanted to work with Barker years before Open All Hours (1973) and did as a guest star on Porridge (1974). He believed it profoundly affected the course of his life. He always considered him a mentor whenever they worked together. He never understood why Barker left ITV for the BBC, because he wasn't in the know. He considered working with Barker in an entire series a dream outcome, and the two became close friends. He claimed Barker was very wise and if he thought something was OK, that was good enough. He also believed he was there on the series to be Barker's stooge, and got frustrated when episodes ran long and his part had to be edited down just to feed Barker.
13Lived quietly and shunned the spotlight. He always put family first and hardly ever attended big social events.
14Known for being genial, open, always looking for what was funny in any situation, and quick-witted.
15Known for being a perfectionist, he monitored David Jason's raspberries carefully for volume, tone and duration on The Two Ronnies (1971) whenever performing "The Phantom Raspberry Blower" sketch; Barker directed him in a sound-booth doing a raspberry version of the 1812 Overture. Jason joked in his autobiography that he would gladly re-stage it at the Royal Albert Hall, and considered "making farting noises into a microphone" one of the most profound jobs he's ever had at the BBC, and proud of his contribution to "that little moment of comic history".
16Liked to send poems to David Jason. He was constantly playing with words and was very quick at composing verses. He sent one to Jason to commemorate his knighthood in 2005.
17He wanted to end Open All Hours (1973) after three years, even with audiences of more than 15 million.
18His nickname for David Jason on Open All Hours (1973) was "little feed".
19In 1979, he and Ronnie Corbett took their families to Australia for a year for job opportunities.
20Retired from acting to run an antiques business. [1988]
21Has agreed to do another series of The Two Ronnies (1971) (with Ronnie Corbett) for BBC-TV after renewed interest following Barker's Bafta tribute (2004). It is 17 years since the duo last appeared together on TV screens. [2004]
22Was encouraged to go into show business by Frank Shelley.
23The UK's Sun newspaper announced his death with a front page depicting a pair of black horn-rimmed glasses sitting in a spotlight, with the headline "Goodnight from him".
24Mr. Barker's funeral was held in the leafy surroundings of Banbury Crematorium in Oxfordshire where his body was taken in a Volvo hearse. Banbury is just a few miles from his home village of Dean near Chipping Norton where he operated an antique shop the last few years of his life.
25He initially trained as an architect but decided that he did not have the necessary talents. His first paid job was as a bank clerk.
26In 2004, he received a lifetime achievement award from the British Academy of film and Television Arts. He earned three other BAFTA awards as well.
27He claimed that making Open All Hours (1973) was the happiest experience of his career.
28His best friends were Ronnie Corbett and David Jason.
29His first job was that of a stage hand at The Oxford Playhouse, Oxford, UK. At that time the theatre was a rep and one night Ronnie was thrust on stage to cover for someone - the rest, as they say, is history. Although considered a comic actor he has portrayed a vast array of characters - especially on the stage - and was considered one of Britain's finest character actors.
30Whilst on holiday in Australia, he was approached by a man who asked "Hey, are you that Ronnie Barker?". Ronnie calmly replied in a mock Australian accent "Sorry mate, a lot of people say that, but I ain't him."
31At the end of The Two Ronnies (1971), they would always close with Ronnie Corbett saying "Well, it's Goodnight from me", to which Ronnie Barker would reply "And, it's Goodnight from him".
32Enjoyed working with Jon Pertwee on The Navy Lark and the two would often find themselves almost paralytic with laughter during rehearsals for the BBC radio comedy.
33He was one of the actors originally wanted for the part of Claudius in I, Claudius (1976), but it eventually went to Derek Jacobi. He also turned down the roles of Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em (1973) and Reginald Perrin in The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (1976).
34Despite opting to appear frequently in drag in The Two Ronnies (1971) as part of a sketch, he intensely disliked dressing as a woman.
35Although a fine comic actor in his own right (Porridge (1974), Open All Hours (1973)), he is perhaps best known for his longstanding comic double-act with Ronnie Corbett as "The Two Ronnies".
36Is well-known for his role in the radio comedy series, "The Navy Lark", in which he played various characters.
37Father of the actress Charlotte Barker, the actor Adam Barker and Larry Barker (born in 1959).
38He was awarded the OBE (Officer of the Order of the British Empire) in the 1978 Queen's New Year Honours List for his services to drama.


Actor

Actor

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Life Beyond the Box: Norman Stanley Fletcher2003TV MovieNorman Stanley Fletcher
My House in Umbria2003TV MovieGeneral
The Gathering Storm2002TV MovieDavid Inches
The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything1999TV MovieRenaissance Man
Clarence1988TV SeriesClarence Sale
The Two Ronnies in Australia1986TV SeriesVarious Roles
Open All Hours1976-1985TV SeriesAlbert Arkwright
The Magnificent Evans1984TV SeriesPlantagenet Evans
By the Sea1982TV MovieThe General (as The Two Ronnies)
Rubbish Tips1980ShortDirector of Rubbish
Doing Time1979Fletcher
Going Straight1978TV SeriesNorman Stanley Fletcher
Porridge1974-1977TV SeriesNorman Stanley Fletcher
Robin and Marian1976Friar Tuck
BBC Play of the Month1969-1975TV SeriesHenry Ormonroyd Bottom Stephen Spettigue
The Picnic1975TV ShortThe General
Comedy Playhouse1972-1974TV SeriesJohnnie Wetherby George Idle
The Two Ronnies1973TV SeriesVarious roles
7 of 11973TV SeriesEvan Owen / Grandpa Owen / Alan Joyce / ...
His Lordship Entertains1972TV SeriesLord Rustless
The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins1971Guest Appearance (segment "Sloth")
Ronnie Corbett in Bed1971TV MovieVarious Characters
The Ronnie Barker Yearbook1971TV MovieVarious Characters
Six Dates with Barker1971TV SeriesPrince Boffo / Doctor Swanton / Lola / ...
'Wiltons' - The Handsomest Hall in Town1970TV MovieBastow, George
Hark at Barker1969-1970TV SeriesLord Rustless
Not Only... But Also1970TV Series
It's Tommy Cooper1970TV SeriesGuest
Frost on Sunday1968-1970TV SeriesVarious
Futtocks End1970General Futtock
Two Off the Cuff1969voice
The Coward Revue1969TV Movie
The Ronnie Barker Playhouse1968TV SeriesAlexander / The Monk / Cyril Tanner / ...
A Ghost of a Chance1968Mr. Prendergast
The Gamblers1967TV Series
The Frost Report1966-1967TV SeriesVarious Roles
Before the Fringe1967TV Series
The Man Outside1967George Venaxas
The Avengers1967TV SeriesCheshire
The Saint1966TV SeriesAlphonse
Runaway Railway1966Mr. Galore
Foreign Affairs1966TV SeriesGrischa Petrovich
Barney Is My Darling1965TV Series
Theatre 6251965TV SeriesCrowther Rimington
Gaslight Theatre1965TV SeriesOld Milford / Fireman / William Middleton / ...
A Tale of Two Cities1965TV SeriesJerry Cruncher
The Walrus and the Carpenter1965TV Series
Armchair Theatre1965TV SeriesGrimwood
A Home of Your Own1965The Cement Mixer
Bold as Brass1964TV SeriesMr. Oakroyd
The Bargee1964Ronnie
Sykes and A...1964TV Series
How to Be an Alien1964TV Series
Father Came Too!1964Josh
More Faces of Jim1963TV SeriesGeorge Butters MP / Colonel Sanderson / Jonathan de Winter / ...
Doctor in Distress1963Man at Railway Station Ticket Counter (uncredited)
The Cracksman1963Yossle
It's a Square World1960-1963TV SeriesVarious Characters
BBC Sunday-Night Play1963TV Mini-SeriesHenry Wallace
A Christmas Night with the Stars1962TV SeriesRon Glum - with Jimmy Edwards
Six More Faces of Jim1962TV SeriesRon Glum
ITV Television Playhouse1962TV SeriesPickles O'Toole
Citizen James1961-1962TV Series
Drama 61-671962TV SeriesHarrison
ITV Play of the Week1962TV SeriesBundles
Kill or Cure1962Burton - Hook's Assistant
The Rag Trade1962TV SeriesMr. Goodwin
Brothers in Law1962TV SeriesMr. Butler
Benny Hill1962TV SeriesChef
The Seven Faces of Jim1961TV SeriesRonnie / Inigo Pengallen / Mr. Harris / ...
On the Brighter Side1961TV ShortVarious Characters
The Terrible Choice1960TV Series2nd Murderer
Wonderful Things!1958Waiter (uncredited)
Theatre Night1957TV SeriesPerigord
Nom-de-Plume1956TV SeriesMonsieur Fleury / First Officer
I'm Not Bothered1956TV SeriesBit Part

Writer

Writer

TitleYearStatusCharacter
The Two Ronnies Sketchbook2005TV Series as Gerald Wiley
The Best of the Two Ronnies: Volume 22003Video as Gerald Wiley
The Best of the Two Ronnies2002Video as Gerald Wiley
The Two Ronnies at the Movies1999TV Movie
Harald und Eddi1987-1994TV Series texts - 4 episodes
Clarence1988TV Series written by - 6 episodes
The Two RonniesTV Series 3 episodes, 1971 written by - 73 episodes, 1973 - 1987 writer - 13 episodes, 1971 - 1972
Bombardemagnus1985TV Mini-Series screenplay - 3 episodes
By the Sea1982TV Movie uncredited
The Picnic1975TV Short as David Huggett, Larry Keith
7 of 11973TV Series 1 episode
A Christmas Night with the Stars1971-1972TV Series script: The Two Ronnies - 2 episodes
His Lordship Entertains1972TV Series 1 episode
The Ronnie Barker Yearbook1971TV Movie as Gerald Wiley
Six Dates with Barker1971TV Series 1 episode
Hark at BarkerTV Series 11 episodes, 1969 - 1970 writer - 1 episode, 1969
Frost on Sunday1970TV Series script - 4 episodes
Futtocks End1970original screenplay

Soundtrack

Soundtrack

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Ronnie Barker Interview2001Video short performer: "Going Straight" - uncredited
Doing Time1979performer: "Scotland the Brave", "John Peel", "Molly Malone" - uncredited
Going Straight1978TV Series performer - 1 episode
Porridge1975TV Series performer - 3 episodes

Music Department

Music Department

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Going Straight1978TV Series performer - 6 episodes

Thanks

Thanks

TitleYearStatusCharacter
And It's Goodnight from Him: The Very Best of Ronnie Barker1996Video documentary special thanks

Self

Self

TitleYearStatusCharacter
The Two Ronnies Sketchbook2005TV SeriesHimself
Britain's Best Sitcom2004TV SeriesHimself
Ronnie Barker: A BAFTA Tribute2004TV MovieHimself
I'm Dreaming of a TV Christmas2003TV Movie documentaryHimself
Comedy Connections2003TV Series documentaryHimself
The Sitcom Story2003TV Series documentaryHimself
The BAFTA TV Awards 20032003TV SpecialHimself
Heroes of Comedy2000-2002TV Series documentaryHimself / Various
The Sketch Show Story2001TV Series documentaryHimself
Ronnie Barker Interview2001Video shortHimself / Norman Stanley Fletcher
Night of a Thousand Shows2000TV Movie documentaryHimself
A Tribute to the Two Ronnies2000TV MovieHimself
Funny Turns2000TV Series documentaryHimself
The Unforgettable Richard Beckinsale2000TV Special shortHimself
The Comedy Trail: A Shaggy Dog Story1999TV Special shortHimself
Two Ronnies Night1999TV SpecialHimself
What a Performance!1999TV SeriesHimself
An Audience with Ronnie Corbett1997TV MovieHimself
Omnibus1997TV Series documentary
Auntie's All-Time Greats1996TV MovieHimself
Christmas Night with the Two Ronnies1987TV MovieHimself - Host / Various
The Two Ronnies1971-1987TV SeriesHimself / Various Characters / Brighton / ...
Children in Need1983TV SeriesHimself
The Bob Monkhouse Show1983TV SeriesHimself
Wogan1983TV SeriesHimself
Looks Familiar1978TV SeriesHimself
This Is Your Life1970-1977TV Series documentaryHimself
Festival of Entertainment1976TV MovieHimself
It's Lulu1973TV SeriesHimself
A Christmas Night with the Stars1971-1972TV SeriesHimself - Host
The Harry Secombe Show1971TV SeriesHimself
Frost on Sunday1970TV SeriesHimself
The David Frost Show1969TV SeriesHimself
The Corbett Follies1969TV SeriesHimself
Tickertape1968TV SeriesHimself
Once More with Felix1968TV SeriesHimself

Archive Footage

Archive Footage

TitleYearStatusCharacter
BAFTA Televsion Awards 20162016TV Special
The One Show2016TV SeriesHimself / Various Characters
The Many Faces of...2010-2016TV Series documentaryVarious Characters / Various / Himself
Christmas with the Double Acts2015TV Movie documentaryVarious
Wogan: The Best Of2015TV SeriesHimself
Britain's Best Loved Sitcoms2015TV Series documentaryAlbert Arkwright / Norman Stanley Fletcher
Britain's Best Loved Double Acts2014TV Movie documentaryHimself - The Two Ronnies
My Hero2013TV Series documentaryHimself / Various
The Age of the Train2012TV Movie documentaryHimself - Comedian
Tales of Television Centre2012TV Movie documentaryHimself / Norman Stanley Fletcher (uncredited)
The Syndicate2012TV SeriesThe Two Ronnies
Top of the Pops: The Story of 19772012TV Movie documentaryHimself (uncredited)
My Favourite Joke2011TV SeriesCustomer
Pete Postlethwaite: A Tribute2011TV Movie documentaryNorman Stanley Fletcher (uncredited)
Live from Studio Five2010TV SeriesHimself
Margaret John: National Treasure2010TV Movie documentary
The Funny Side of...2009TV Series documentaryHimself
Piers Morgan's Life Stories2009TV SeriesHimself
Monty Python: Almost the Truth - The Lawyer's Cut2009TV Mini-SeriesHimself
The Greatest Christmas Comedy Moments2008TV Movie documentaryVarious Roles (uncredited)
Is Anybody There?2008Himself (uncredited)
Comedy Connections2004-2008TV Series documentaryBarman / Various Characters / Magnus Magnusson / ...
The Comedy Map of Britain2008TV Series documentaryNorman Stanley Fletcher
50 Greatest Comedy Catchphrases2008TV Movie documentaryNorman Stanley Fletcher (uncredited)
Morecambe & Wise: In Their Own Words2008TV Movie documentaryHimself (uncredited)
The Comedy Christmas2007TV Movie documentaryNorman Stanley Fletcher (uncredited)
Hitler: The Comedy Years2007TV Movie documentaryNorman Stanley Fletcher (uncredited)
All the Best from Denis Norden2007TV Movie documentaryHimself (uncredited)
Two Ronnies: Christmas Retrospective2007Video documentary shortHimself
The Best of the Royal Variety2006TV Series
The Story of Light Entertainment2006TV Mini-Series documentary
One O'Clock News2005TV SeriesHimself / Various Characters
Forty Years of Fuck2005TV Movie documentaryNorman Stanley Fletcher (uncredited)
Greatest TV Comedy Moments2005TV Movie documentaryBathroom Sketch (uncredited)
The Comedians' Comedian2005TV Movie documentary
Britain's Favourite Comedian2004TV SeriesHimself
The Best of the Two Ronnies: Volume 22003VideoHimself / Various Characters (as Ronnie Barker OBE)
The Best of the Two Ronnies2002VideoVarious Characters (as Ronnie Barker O.B.E.)
The Unforgettable Yootha Joyce2001TV Short documentaryAlbert Arkwright
The Greatest2001TV Series documentaryNorman Stanley Fletcher
A Perfect Two Ronnies Show2001TV Movie documentary
I Love a 1970's Christmas2000TV Special documentary
The Two Ronnies at the Movies1999TV Movie
The Best of British1998TV SeriesHimself
And It's Goodnight from Him: The Very Best of Ronnie Barker1996Video documentaryHimself
Heroes of Comedy1995TV Series documentary
Match of the Seventies1995TV SeriesHimself
Life of Python1990TV Special documentaryVarious Roles
To See Such Fun1977DocumentaryHimself

Won awards

Won awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
1999Lifetime Achievement AwardBritish Comedy Awards· Ronnie Corbett
1990Lifetime Achievement AwardBritish Comedy Awards
1979BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformanceGoing Straight (1978)
1978BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformancePorridge (1974)
1976BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformancePorridge (1974)
1972BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformanceThe Two Ronnies (1971)· Ronnie Corbett

Nominated awards

Nominated awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
1984BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformanceThe Two Ronnies (1971)· Ronnie Corbett
1980BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformanceThe Two Ronnies (1971)
1977BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformanceOpen All Hours (1973)
1976BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformanceThe Two Ronnies (1971)· Ronnie Corbett
1975BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformancePorridge (1974)
1974BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PerformanceThe Two Ronnies (1971)· Ronnie Corbett
1970BAFTA TV AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Light Entertainment PersonalityHark at Barker (1969)


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#Quote
1He was wonderful. I loved Jon [Jon Pertwee]. I thought he was a very good actor, I don't think he acted enough. Of course he got into Doctor Who (1963), which was wonderful for him, but he got stuck with it a bit, I thought. But I thoroughly enjoyed working with him on stage. We only stole the show in as much as we only said the lines that were in the script of course.
2[a poem he composed to David Jason, to commemorate Jason's impending knighthood] Congratulations, little feed/her gracious Majesty decreed/that Granville, little errand lad/and Del Boy, Frost, and others had/all served their nation passing well/so here's to Granville, Frost and Del! The old ex-Guvnor's proud to see/his comrade reach such high degree/knight of the realm, and TV star/who never thought he'd get this far. 'Arise, Sir David', she will say/the sword upon your shoulder lay. I raise a glass filled to the brim/and truly say, 'Good Knight from him.'
3[announcing his retirement] Witness all ye now here present that I, Ronald William George Barker, known to the world of the footlights as Ronnie Barker, have now stepped from the spotlight after 40 years and whereas I have no longer any claim to the title the Guvnor, being that I no longer hold sway over nor have power to command supporting actors, bit players, stooges and feeds; now this hereby witnesseth that it is my chosen and deliberate intention forthwith to abdicate the said title of the Guvnor in favor of my good loyal and trusty servant David Granville Dithers Jason; and that he now is entitled to bear arms in the dignity of the office and title of the Guvnor and to enjoy all the privileges thereunto belonging. Signed in the presence of these worthies hereunder: Arthur Arkwright, Grocer Norman S. Fletcher, Director Rustless of Chrome Hall KGB, Om & Ronnie Barker, the ex-Guvnor God Save The Queen.
4When they says it's gentle, they normally mean they don't think it's very funny.
5I enjoyed Open All Hours more (then Porridge) because of David (Jason).
6If you like something, you put it up on the wall. Just sling it on the wall and enjoy it.
7We're getting paid just to make ourselves laugh. It's not a bad life, is it?
8There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar's 'Sea Pictures' at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared.
9To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, it's the best job in the world.
10In a packed programme tonight, we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.
11Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.
12In a packed programme tonight, I shall be having a word with a man who goes in for meditation, because he thinks it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
13But first, the news: The House of Commons was sealed off today after police chased an escaped lunatic through the front door during Prime Minister's question time. A spokesman at Scotland Yard said it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
14Next week we'll be investigating rumours that the president of the dairy council has become a Mason, and goes around giving his colleagues the 'secret milkshake.'
15The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.
16I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.
17Don't just crit their siticising.
18The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
19We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion.
20[on the death of Jon Pertwee] I thoroughly enjoyed working with him. It was always great fun and we had a lot of laughs. Jon was always very nattily dressed. He was certainly the smartest looking Doctor Who (1963). I last saw him at a party I gave last summer. He was in good spirits and looked very healthy.
21I knew with Porridge (1974) from the first episode. It was in front of an audience which is a wonderful sounding board as to how well it's going. My wife was in the audience for that and she said afterwards 'This is going to be a big success' and she was right.
22It's better to make people laugh than cry.


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